This is my quest...

In my English novel class, which is also easily my favorite class (as you may have guessed from how frequently I start a sentence like this), we were asked what is our quest over the next couple of months. Most of the class will be doing a study abroad in England this spring semester. I, obviously, will not as Nick and I will be marrying in 11 days. (Did I slip that count down in subtly enough?)

My quest over the next several months is...

I am not quite sure. I have learned things about myself over the past few months and I think that that will continue to happen. A quest implies a goal that I am focused on and I am pretty focused on staying sane over the next 12 days, this necessarily includes me not having a nervy-b the day after the wedding when the pressure is off. But however excited I am to marry my own "cute boy", I don't think this my capital "q" Quest.

Way before I ever met Nick I wondered what was my purpose in life, not the purpose of all life, but what I am I supposed to do that is specific and special to me and that only I can do. I supppose that this was the question because I wanted the fulfillment that I expected to come with this sort of knowledge. How can you be empty when you know what your mission is?

I like to write. I love to read. I love creating. I love showing the people that I love that I love them in ways that they find loving. (What?!) I mean to say that with some people I like surprising them with a small gift, with others I sit and listen and talk to them, with others I help them with things I am good at doing and with others I tell them all the things that I love about them. I love to think and learn. I love to plan and organize and design. Throughout my life I have considered a range of careers- dancer, painter, writer, mutant do-gooder, writer, wizard, fashion designer, actress, CIA agent, interior designer, editor, librarian, and this is just the short list. I thought that knowing what I wanted to be/should be would lead me to what my Purpose is. But I don't think that can be true.

If I had been born to farmers in Tibet, I would, most likely, be a farmer and the wife of a farmer in Tibet. So if a career is so pivotal to a fulfilling life than it wouldn't be very fair if you didn't grow up in to an affluent family that is encouraging and in a place that you can pursue whatever career you want, regardless of intelligence, gender, looks etc.

So, what defines you? What is your purpose/quest/mission in life ... or at least right now, today?

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Thanks for your nice words. I appreciate them so much.