The Book of Love

My roommate came into our apartment crying. I quirked my eyebrow and looked over at my other roommate but she was looking at her computer screen and her earphones were in.

A little bit of background might help; I am not very close with most of my roommates. They are interesting people and not annoying roommates, but I just moved into this apartment at the beginning of the semester and knew that I would be moving out by the end. They had already formed their bonds and had their habits and that was okay with me because I have my own friends and I live on my own planet most of the time anyway.

So even though my roommate was openly crying there was a moment where I looked around and wondered if anyone else was going to go in and see if she was alright. I looked down at my own netbook, not really seeing, but when I could hear her sobbing in the other room, I got up, got a roll of toilet paper and went in.

Sometimes when I am sad, even when I am outright crying, I only want what I want. And you are not it. So don't even think about talking to me. I will turn stony. I think that was one of the reason that I hesitated before going to see my roommate. I put her shoes on my feet instead of putting myself in her shoes; if that makes any sense. I was afraid she wouldn't want me there and would tell me to go away. Or that I wouldn't know what to say or do.

And I didn't. But I went anyway.

We didn't have a heart to heart. We are not best friends now. And I didn't fix her or her problem, (actually I still don't know what it was.) I rubbed her back while she cried, shhhhed her and said it (whatever "it" was) would be okay. She calmed down enough to start yoga breathing and then stopped crying. I got her laptop for her and told her that she didn't have to talk to me if she didn't want to but that I was right there if she needed anything. Then, I left. It took less than 10 minutes. It wasn't hard, but it was kind of push to get me to do it. Because I was embarrassed/nervous/afraid/whatever.

Even though it wasn't hard and I feel like I did very little, it was one of those moments where I had a paradigm shift. I realized that 1. I shouldn't let fear of embarrassment stop me from doing what I know that I should, and 2. sometimes we just need somebody and it doesn't matter what our history is with them.

What is something difficult, embarrassing or scary that you have done lately? Or how do you feel after you have done something out of your comfort zone? 

P.S. Is it just me or did the buds on the trees come out over night? Springtime is here and hopefully the weather will reflect it.